Now, I know this might sound a bit unfair to some of us. Why should we be the ones to change when it’s the other person who’s causing the annoyance, right? But the thing is, changing someone else’s behavior is not always possible or practical.
Instead, focusing on our reactions and responses can often achieve better results and feel more empowered in such situations.
It is possible to find happiness with any person by making a simple shift in your mindset.
But the thing is, trying to change other people will only lead to frustration and misery. Let me explain this concept to you by sharing a beautiful Buddhist poem called “Covering the World in Leather.” Imagine that the entire world is covered in sharp objects. Now, you could try to cover the whole world with leather, but that would be impossible! Instead, just cover your own feet with the leather of your sandals, and you’ll be able to walk around comfortably and confidently.
This analogy shows that while we cannot control external situations or other people, we can control our own minds. By adjusting our mindset, we can learn to deal with difficult people without getting frustrated or irritated.
Would you like me to show you how to practice this shift?
The power to change your life
Whenever you get irritated by someone’s behavior, pause and notice that your mind starts to create a story of resentment about them. You might think about how they always act in an irritating way, why they have to be that way, or why they are so inconsiderate. But this narrative is not helpful. It only makes you unhappy, damages your relationship with others, and turns you into a person you probably don’t want to be.
Open up to all of life without rejecting. Accept the river as it is. See the suffering human being in front of you, and love them fiercely, as they are.
See how it shifts you. And see how it opens you up to connecting to your fellow human beings and the vast experience of life just as it is.
So, what can you do about it?
First of all, it’s important to recognize that you don’t like how the person is behaving and that you’re not happy with your current experience. But instead of rejecting this part of reality, try opening up to all of life without dismissing it.
Think of it like reflecting on a river that flows downstream – if you wished it would flow upstream instead, it would only bring you frustration. Now imagine that the person who’s irritating you is the river. Wishing they were different just brings sorrow. Let’s try to stay positive and work on accepting things as they are.