Now that we are settling into our new home, new neighborhood, and new country, it’s time to plan to visit this fantastic new Island. The season is not precisely season-friendly to travel and visit.
We are in May, and it’s Fall. It’s weird thinking of May as Fall! In the Fall, the weather is colder and wetter. The temperatures so far are not terrible.
The lower was 0 Celsius (32F), and the high was 20 Celsius (68F). I like it; it’s not the freezing cold of Wisconsin or the burning hot of Texas. Finally, I have well-defined seasons, like where I grew up.
“Commitment is the little choices every day that lead to the final results we’re striving for.”
Anonymous
Anyway, now that we are settled in, it’s time for me to get into my routine: exercise, nutrition, meditation, and self-care. Before we prepared to come to New Zealand, I had a great schedule and was attentive to my food and mental health. After we sold the house, we became the gypsies of Austin with no permanent residence and little ability to prepare the meals we wanted, and stress became overwhelming.
OMG, I lost track of my routine: my good habits, my stress increased, my anxiety escalated, and my sleeping pattern is currently messy. I fell, I fell off the wagon. After so much work to find an equilibrium, I feel frustrated. My physical pain increased, and I felt like I was 100 years old.
With time, I’ve noticed that I struggle with commitments to myself, and I think many people can sympathize with me. It’s easier to commit to a doctor’s appointment or friend meeting.
If I decide to commit, for example, to go to the gym daily and I do not stick to the commitment … it makes me feel I am letting myself down. It’s funny how unforgivable and how fast we judge ourselves.
This is why I always look for a gym where someone is there to call me out when I am not accountable. I’ve let myself down so many times in my past that I get in the habit of letting myself off the hook since there is no one to be accountable for. How many of you feel the same way? We are human, and it is normal. We feel like crap, but that’s what we do!
During my life, I’ve been going through this process so many times that I think the way to start to stick to commitments is by steps; the first step is to understand myself instead of changing things about myself from a place of judgment. Yeah, because we sometimes get very judgmental about ourselves, making us feel bad instead of understanding what we feel.
So, start to notice when you don’t show up for yourself. What’s going on? What are you feeling at that moment? What are your thoughts? Instead of judging and turning away from all of this, can you turn towards it and try to really see yourself?
Could you start to accept these feelings and thoughts as a part of the amazing human being you are?
Could you let go of judgment and just be with the feelings? They are present; notice them.
Now that you walked half of the road toward it and tried to understand yourself, can you accept and start to explore other possibilities?
Here’s what I started to do to commit to myself:
I ask myself what I really want to do.
I want to get back to the routine exercise that made me feel more flexible, in shape, and good with myself. Are you sure, Adele, that’s what you want? Yes, it is.
Then put it on the calendar: it reminds you of your “date with yourself” and encourages you to be serious about it. Go slow but steady.
Be careful; when you commit to something, it has to be something that really means a great deal to you; otherwise, if we commit to ourselves as something that doesn’t matter, that can be pushed back without consequence, then what’s the point of committing?
So, honor yourself.
Honor that — turn towards it and let yourself feel it like an important feeling. But also honor yourself — can you see that showing up for yourself is also essential?
There is a thought; it doesn’t have to be a tense experience where you force yourself to do something you don’t want to do. It can be a place of curiosity where you let yourself explore, play, and learn. And you can adjust to your needs. It can be a place of joy, appreciation for yourself, and the activity. Can you find out what that might be like for yourself?
I am just starting…
“The most important element in the failure equation is your personal commitment to keep trying.”
by Catherine Pulsifer