“Going with the flow” has been one of my life philosophies. Of course, sometimes it doesn’t go as well as you would like, but I’ve been integrating this way of doing things for a while.
No matter how much structure we create in our lives to have control over situations that come up in our daily lives – there is always something unexpected that can bring a huge source of frustration, anger, and, consequently, stress.
There is a solution: learn to go with the flow.
Before I left the States, my last task was selling my car. After sending my title to my husband by mistake on a box of stuff (see blog Murphy Law), I couldn’t sell it. So, after running in a couple of dealerships, I understood I was stuck in Texas until Yury could send me back the title.
Long story short, I found a dealership that could help me. However, 45 days passed, and I still have not received my check. When you are on the other side of the world, 17 hours ahead of regular business hours, it gets complicated to reach someone and resolve any problem of this nature.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
– Lao-Tzu.
I was getting livid and frustrated, and my anger increased. I couldn’t believe the lack of professionalism and respect.
It’s not the best way to handle things, is it? And yet, if we are honest, most of us have problems like this, with something that disrupts how we like things, with people who change what we are used to, with life when it doesn’t go how we want it to.
Go with the flow…
I have no control over this situation, and I can do nothing to change it. Going with the flow is accepting change without getting angry or frustrated. It’s taking what life gives you rather than trying to mold life to be exactly as you want it to be.
I realize I cannot control the situation, but the way we think, act, and feel often contradicts this fundamental truth. We don’t rule the universe, yet seem to wish we could.
Be aware; you can’t change things in your head if you’re not aware of them. You have to become an observer of your thoughts, a self-examiner. Make sure to recognize when you’re getting upset so that you can take action. — Every time you get upset, take note of it. Soon, you will become more aware of your anger and frustration.
Then breathe… take a deep breath, take another one … This is an important step that allows you to calm down.
Getting perspective helps me organize my thoughts. After 45 days pass and I don’t receive my check, I get upset, but then I take a deep breath and step back.
You know how you’re watching a movie, and the camera zooms away, and you can see much more of the world on the screen than you could before?
How does it go from closeup to a larger, panoramic view of things? That’s what happens in my mind.
I zoom away until I’m pretty far away from things. Then, whatever happened doesn’t seem so important. A week from now, a year from now, this incident won’t matter a single whit. No one will care, not even you. I’ll get my check sooner or later. So why get upset about it? Just let it go; soon, it won’t be a big deal.
Later, you can laugh over what happened. That requires a certain amount of detachment — you can laugh at the situation if you’re above it but not within it. And that detachment is a good thing. You’ve come a long way if you can learn to laugh at something.
Try laughing even if you don’t think it’s funny — it will most likely become funny.
Enjoy life as a flow of change, chaos, and beauty.
Life is not something static but a flow of change, never staying the same, always getting messier and more chaotic, and always beautiful.
There is beauty in everything around us, and it’s perfect the way it is.
